Having a big tummy

Having a big tummy means I need to be extra careful as I'm not used to having a tummy that sticks way out from my body. Poor baby 2 (or is it me?!) because I've accidentally bumped my tummy into places now and then. I can't help it as I'm not use to my tummy being so big! But the little accidents so far wasn't painful - nonetheless I have to keep reminding myself that I can't squeeze into narrow spaces anymore!

Even with Rye Li, I did knock my tummy here and there but the worst was when I accidentally slammed the toilet door on my tummy. This was when I was about 6 months as well and boy, did it hurt like hell! I was so worried for Rye Li then but when I read up in books and the net, they said that I'm more likely to feel the pain that the baby since they're confined and protected in the waterbag.

I'm trying to be very careful now but I still forget at times. I even asked hubby how he manages with a big tummy (he has one since the day I met him, maybe bigger now!) and he just add that he's not as clumsy as me! :p ....I guess he's just used to having one.

Pregnancy Updates

I’m nearly 6 & a half months and I feel my tummy is big! Definitely bigger compared to Rye Li’s time and I’m wondering whether it is just fat or Baby 2 is big. I sure hope it’s the fat as the thought of having a big baby scares me – all Rye Li’s fault as she came out so small at 2.3kgs/5 pounds! Hehe, ok, maybe it was my fault but heck, I put on 21 kgs then la…so why was Rye Li so small?!

I’m trying to get Rye Li’s birth story up in case I will forget hers when Baby 2 comes. I still remember so clearly everything of Rye Li’s birth (and they say you do tend to forget the pain and all but not with me yet…perhaps after having another baby). I have started it in draft but I’m not even halfway of it…hope to have this up soon.

Baby 2 is pretty aggressive in my tummy, making her cher-cher (Chinese: elder sister) seemed so gentle as Rye Li’s movements then only became uncomfortable towards the end of the last trimester. Now I’m wondering does this mean Baby 2 will be more aggressive than her cher-cher too?! In Rye Li’ s second trimester, she mostly gave me gentle kicks but Baby 2 gives me more than just kicks! She really wiggles in there and not only is it ticklish but it can be painful at times, more like an electronic bolt. I’m wondering what it would be like when I hit my third trimester.

My appetite is way too good now. I can eat pretty much anything unlike the first 4 months which is kind off bad in a way as I feel I’m also putting on weight fast. My next checkup is next Saturday and I’m also curious…hehe. I just hope I didn’t put on as much as I did the last visit. I put on a whole lot during my second trimester with Rye Li too.

I’m craving for durians (which I totally dislike during the first trimester) but have to resist not so much for the pregnancy but because of Rye Li. She’s still coughing and she loves durian too so we can’t buy any home just yet. I was tempted to go eat with hubby over the weekend outside but we had too many plans to do just that, looks like I have to wait till the girl gets better.

Sleeping patterns are weird, I am tired but I can’t seem to sleep much. It takes me awhile to sleep and when I do, I need to get up and pee and hence, it takes me awhile to fall asleep again. And my dreams are getting weird as usual, can be about anything and everything. It is interesting that it mostly relates to my thoughts that I had during the day – I had a few weird dreams about my maid too!

As for nesting syndrome, haven’t exactly prepared ourselves for Baby 2’s arrival just as yet. We only just got some drawers and bookshelves for Rye Li’s room as I need to make way for her old plastic drawers for Baby 2’s clothes. Will start to do the washing of her clothes and the rest (preparation for her baby cot) when I reach 8 months. I just realized by having kids, the items you have in the house just grow along with them. I can’t believe the amount of clothes, books, toys and furniture that I’ve accumulated by just having Rye Li. And here I thought all this while that I would like my home to be as plain as possible so that housework would be a breeze. Unfortunately, this is not the case as I have full of obstacles (okay, some are our stuff too) around the house.

What have I gotten myself into! :)

Having a maid so far....

As much as I’ve said before that I do like my maid, she has her imperfections as well and at the same time, I’m trying my best to get use to a stranger staying in my house.

She’s been with us for nearly 3 weeks now and I do notice her flaws here and there. It doesn’t bother me big time as she does the basic stuff but I’m aware that I need to remind her now and then to do it this way or that way when I feel she’s not doing things right.

She washes up our used plates, cups, utensils etc and will put them back into the kitchen cupboard where they belong but there are some stuff that she will leave behind like the plastic containers and other type of bowls that were left there before she came along. I’m guessing that she doesn’t know where to put these plastic containers and so I told her that she can keep them in another place in the kitchen and that she can also arranged them nicely (as I’ve neglected this spot for a long time since it needs me to stand on a stool).

She sweeps and mops the floor everyday and yet I found some spots to be uncleaned and started doubting whether she does this everyday or not (she wakes up earlier than we do). I know for sure that there’s this corner she had missed, as the dirt was visible and I wanted her to mop my living room again. She told me that morning that she had already mopped the floor and then I asked her why that corner was still dirty and she apologized and said that she was scared to clean that corner as there were full of things (extension cords with some electrical items). I told her that she could always move them one side to clean the corner as well as to clean behind my TV stand. I didn’t make her do it there and then and told her that she can do it the next morning before we leave the house to the day care.

She also cleans my toilets twice over the weekend but I found some fungus stains still left behind on the floor and also noticed that she didn’t touch my sink at all. And so I had to teach her the basic again, so I showed her that the fungus stains can be removed and told her that she can clean my sink by removing my things on them and then put it back again. I hope she gets the message this time.

I know I may sound too picky and that I hardly clean my house before she came along but the times when I do, I made sure that these things are thoroughly cleaned as well. Before she came along, I had my sister’s maid to come over every two weeks to clean my house and I didn’t have to tell her what to do, she knew what to do. And I guess I too took this for granted and expected my maid to do the same as I got my sister’s maid to train her the day I got her into my place.

She knows how to use my washing machine and in the first week she was with us, she washes my stuff all the time, whether it was a full load or not. I guess she mistook the fact that we wash Rye Li’s stuff on half-load basis as we have done this all the time since the girl started going to the day care, and think it is the same for the rest of my washable items too. She even started washing blankets one at a time. Since then I told her not to wash until it is a full load unless it is Rye Li’s clothes during the week and now I will still remind her just so she gets the message.

Several nights ago, I got a shocked of my life when my maid started blowing her nose by using her t-shirt (at the collar part) like it’s a normal thing to do (maybe it is at her hometown). I told her that she can always use the tissue and not to do that anymore as it is not a right thing to do here. I also asked if she’s ill and she said no, only a cold. No fever or cough. I reminded her not to touch the kids or go near the kids at the day care. She probably got the cold from Rye Li as well as the other kids from the day care. I also told her that if she doesn’t feel well, she needs to tell me so that I can take her to the doctor’s and that I will let her rest instead of doing work. When I passed her a box of tissue to put in her room and also some to take to the day care the next day, she took one piece and started blowing her nose and kept it in her pocket. I immediately told her to please throw it away and that she can only use tissue once. And all this time, I didn’t yell at her or scold her but told her in a nice, firmed manner. But I had to repeat myself just to make sure she understood.

The next morning, I reminded her again and told her that I will get her some medication. That evening, I explained to her why was I so particular about hygiene and also said that I realized she comes from a kampong (malay: village) area and that she may be used to the habits there but it is very different here in KL. I further explained to her but I’m not sure whether she understood me or not. But whatever it is, I also realized that I need to remind her constantly whether I like it or not so she will remember these things.

The girl has grown attached to the maid although she still wants me most of the times. I have to admit there were times whereby she prefers the maid, like bringing her down from the car, which kind of gets to me – probably cause I’m so used to always being there for the girl. But I didn’t show any of this to the maid and let them be, as I also need to learn to let go when it comes to handling Rye Li 100%. Of course, the maid hasn’t been taking care of Rye Li and she is not even allowed to at the day care – I was told by Aunty Ng that the first few days there, she was always tending to Rye Li which Aunty Ng told her not to. But even so, I can see the maid tries her best to please Rye Li in any way she can since day one. We do let her but when we feel she’s being too much like pampering Rye Li (wearing her shoes, picking up after her or teaching her the wrong things), we will butt in.

In the second week the maid was here, the girl wanted to stay at home alone with the maid when hubby and I wanted to go out for dinner. We were caught off guard by this but let her stayed back with the maid. We went to our condo’s swimming pool’s café for dinner instead of driving out (we were supposed to drive out for dinner) to be on the safe side as I still haven’t exactly gained full trust on my maid yet and of course, I didn’t leave the house keys behind. We were out for less than an hour and I was curious whether the girl would cry for us but when we got back, the girl was watching her TV and the maid was playing with her Legos. Since then, we have yet to leave the girl alone with the maid although I know Rye Li would be alright with her. A number of my friends say that this is a good sign so hubby and I can have “our time” now but wait-la, when I know I can trust the maid fully. It is still too soon!

An update on what the agent has got to say to our earlier request; they came back saying that they will agree on certain basis, one of which is that if we replace the maid on a medical unfit term, it has got to do with lungs and nothing else. So to cut things short, we got our request. At least I don’t have to go through another headache with dealing with a new maid or that I don’t have to deal with the agent till the time comes. Let’s pray that my maid’s x-ray will come out fine in December. As for now, I’m still adjusting to having a stranger in my house. I really salute to those who welcome their maids openly and letting them take care of their children immediately alone without any other family on hand. I don’t think I can as yet or ever will.

Ok, this is long enough about my maid, I need to update on my pregnancy soon as I’ve been neglecting this part. ;)

Our decision

Thanks so much to all for the responses (via blog as well as msn) to my previous post on my dilemma. We have made up our minds.

Hubby took our maid’s x-ray and report to another doctor on Monday for a second opinion and she said that she didn’t see anything wrong with our maid’s x-ray. If we want to be on the safe side, perhaps to bring the maid in for another x-ray test in 6 months time. She also said things to look out for in our maid’s health, whether she is eating well or falling sick easily.

Thus, we both felt that we should maintain the maid but seek a request from the agent to extend the 100% replacement guarantee within a year instead incase the report comes out unfavourable by year end.

Hubby was at the agent before he went to seek for a second opinion from the doctor at Kelana Medical Centre and he reported what he saw while waiting to talk to that B (I’ve termed the lady this and no prize for you if you know which B-word I’m referring to! LOL). He said if I were there, I wouldn’t want to have a maid ever. There were so many people bringing in their maids to complaint and the agent reps there are just so cold and rude to the maids and yes, to the people at times too. He felt that these agent reps must be so used to the negative feedbacks that they have become just so cold!

He also told me that the B made a comment about how their clients think they know everything just because they helped them to get a maid. Oh DUH! Who else can we consult then if not the agent? I mean we pay them for a service and we expect such service - mind you, this agent is one of the expensive ones out there and I just feel that I’m being so cheated from the kind of service I’m getting from them! To make matters worst, I know at least 2 people who also got such lousy service from them already. And I’m aware whether I like it or not, I’m stuck with this agent until I’m done with this maid.

When we picked the maid up the first time, B was very rude to our maid, acting as if she’s the boss, telling her what to do and all in front of us. I was wondering at that time, whether it was all a show to impress us but really, I was so disgusted. I am a working person and if my boss acts that way to me, I will definitely ask my boss to go fly kite! We are individuals who deserve respect no matter where you come from. And if you want respect in return, you better start giving as well too. Anyway, I was just so glad that Rye Li didn’t come along with us that day or else she would think it’s alright to shout to the maid too.

I’m letting hubby do all the communication with this B now since I feel she responds better to men and I don’t want to be worked up over her rude behaviour. We wrote in already requesting for this extension and I’m waiting to see what kind of response I’m getting from them. If they want to be cocky with us, then perhaps we just have to get a replacement now.

Hubby and I felt that we should give our maid a chance to work since the doctor’s comment seems somewhat favourable. And like what some of you have also commented, who knows, if I do return the maid, the agent would probably recycle her as I feel the maid would still want to earn a living in her condition.

She doesn’t know yet of her condition and we feel that we should not let her know until it is serious. She has proven to us she is also somewhat worthy to keep although we are aware that we only had her for like 12 days so far. Her personality has started to show and it is through Rye Li – she only opens up to the girl. She plays and sings to Rye Li. She also talks to Rye Li although the girl don’t understand her most of the time. I’m giving her another month before she can speak the lingo with the maid. She has already picked up some words and so has the maid. The maid works hard in getting Rye Li’s attention. Depending on the girl’s mood, she will play along or she will treat the maid rudely at times which we will scold her for. We want to make it clear to Rye Li that she needs to respect the maid no matter what. I also feel that in time when Rye Li realizes how the maid will spoil her, she will go to her eventually but I will try my best to intervene when this happens. Already, the maid will pick up after the girl on her toys which hubby and I told the maid not to.

Three nights ago, the girl started acting up again and the maid was already asleep. Hubby and I let her be to cry on herself and after like 15 mins or so with her crying, the maid came out and wanted to carry Rye Li but the girl didn’t let her. Hubby was impressed with this as it shows that she cared. This is why I feel that in time, the girl will realize how the maid will give in to her needs and she will most likely team up with her.

Only thing that gets to me so far on the maid is she mostly answer yes to everything I ask her, even when I ask her what she wants to eat or whether she wants to cook. Because she doesn’t give me her opinions, I takeaway or cook whatever I want. At least she finishes everything we give her to eat and I like this. You may say she doesn’t understand me but I feel she does. On the first day, I asked if she can speak English and she said she doesn’t, only know the words yes, no, sir and madam. But in the days to come after that, I hear her speaking to Rye Li in some English words and also humming some nursery songs. I’m guessing she picked them up from the daycare or from the shows Rye Li watches or when Rye Li and I sing or from our conversations.

She’s also too efficient in some ways – she can’t sit still, always cleaning. The first few days, I made this comment to hubby and he asked me to ask her to do less but I said to wait first, let her get used to the routine. Then when I told my friends about this, they said not to as from their experiences, the maids were always hardworking the first few months and then they tend to slack eventually. She even irons Rye Li’s clothes and my bed sheets and pillow cases – something I have never done before! I don’t know if this is a show or this is exactly her style but as far as I’m concerned, as long as she don’t step on our heads, I’m fine.

We are still trying to get use to a maid in the house and we’re still learning. Now, I hope to get a favourable response from the agent.

With all the maid agents’ problem I’m hearing lately through friends as well as blogger moms, I’m thinking we should start some kind of an online community to have recycled maids (the good ones). Why I’m suggesting this is that I had two offers of recycled maids after I have already applied for one at my agent. One was a friend’s sister of my sister’s maid who wants to work here and another was my sister’s mother-in-law’s friend who doesn’t need her second maid anymore and was asking around. Too bad they couldn’t find a home for her so they had to send her back. It seemed that she was a good maid too. With the network we can build online, we can teach these agents a lesson of the kind of lousy service they’re giving us! And with this way, we can also save a couple of thousands as well. Only thing is we may need to take some days off to run around the immigration for application and all. Anyone wants to do this? I’ll be happy to help!

Dilemma

Our maid has been with us since last Saturday and she has so far been quite all right. In fact, we like her, even the girl. For someone with no previous experience, she is a fast learner and it could be also that hubby and I are not fussy with how our house is cleaned (we both have never ever had a maid in our lives before). As long as the basic stuff is done, we’re happy.

I love the fact that our floors are cleaned everyday and our feet can really tell the difference. Even hubby commented on this…goes to show how often I cleaned my floor before this! ;)

When we picked her up last Saturday, we took her for a blood and urine test at the lab and then we took her for an x-ray test at a clinic. I managed to find a lab that can give the results within 3 hours but the x-ray will take at least 3 working days. Thankfully, the blood and urine test came back normal.

So the maid has been following the girl to the day care this week.

Today, I went to pick up her x-ray ( we didn’t have time during the week) only to find out she has some kind of defect in her lungs. Nothing that is contagious (Thank God!) but something that may or may not affect her health in the long run. The doctor advise that since we can still replace her with the agent, we might as well do so as if her health is affected after 6 months, the agent will not be responsible in replacing the maid then.

I asked the doctor why would FOMEMA release her if she has this and she said that if she only saw the x-ray without the report, she would also think that there’s nothing wrong with her lungs. She said that my maid can become breathless at times in this condition and whatever she has may affect her overall health.

I also asked the doctor if this result wasn’t my maid’s and it was mine, what would she advise me. She said that she would ask me to rest and just see what other symptoms I will have along the way before doing any further test.

I spoke to the lady at the agent and I seriously dislike her. When we picked the maid up last week, she was plain rude as she answered a call while briefing us the paperwork. I’m okay with this but the fact that she was even rude to the other lady on the call (the lady wants to return her new maid as the medical check up she had for her the maid didn’t come back good) made it worst. She left the phone on it’s own and talked back to us and then got back to the woman rudely. When we left, I told hubby that I hope we don’t have to deal with her anymore but I had to today.

I told her what happened and this is what she has to say “If you get another one, it doesn’t guarantee you that her health is okay after 6 months also as anything can happened”. So I said that is right but the fact that I know my maid’s health now upfront, I can do something about it. So she went on that it is my decision to make and that if I want a replacement, I don’t have to go through this entire story. What a cocky woman this one!

So I asked her has she gone through this situation before and she said not to this extreme and said I can write in with my maid’s medical report and ask for some kind of guarantee after 6 months but said maybe they will allow for a year but definitely not 2 years. She also said that I can do a replacement but will have to wait the usual 2-3 months for one and I will have to pay additional RM200 for the FOMEMA medical and the salary of the current maid to whatever period that she has been with us. I didn’t want to talk to her anymore and said I will discuss with hubby and get back to her.

Hubby said we should get a second opinion on our maid’s x-ray and also find out to what extent the personal insurance we got for the maid through the agent will cover her before we decide to send her back. I am thinking if we have to send the maid back, whether we can get a refund from the agent and if yes, I am willing to wait another 3 months for a new maid with another agent. Yes, it will be closer to my due date then but I am willing to wait if this rude woman at the agent is pissing me off big time.

I’m sad with the fact that I may have to terminate this maid. But I have to be selfish here. I also told hubby that if really she has this health problem that may shorten her life, I feel she should go home and spend some time with her family instead of working for money. I haven’t told her about the results yet (in case she will run away) but I will let her know when I have to return her to the agent and I just hope the agent will not recycle her.

It is just our luck that we got this horrible lady at the agent as well as an “unhealthy maid” too. I will update again on our decision later, we need to seek another doctor’s advice first.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Presenting mummy Daisy Duck!

I've been asked several times where's my preggy pictures - well, if you're getting fat fast, the last thing on your mind is to take pictures la. But I managed to, just to remind myself later how fat I got with Baby 2. ;)

Below was taken on my birthday (by the way, thank you so much for all the wishes and sorry if I couldn't response to you).

See what I mean by Daisy Duck, not just my front is sticking out (I meant my tummy!) but my bum-bum too!

I prefer this shot since you can't exactly see my big butt here. ;)

I'll be 6 months as at next Tuesday and I realized that I have another 16 more weeks to go. So fast the time has passed and when I think of this, I feel I'm not ready yet. There is still so much to do in preparation for Baby 2's arrival and I havent actually planned it out. As much as I can't wait to see Baby 2, I'm also scared! I need to psyche myself to take things easy with one thing at a time.

My two girls!

It’s another Rye Li! Ok, not a Rye Li but it’s a girl and hence, my wish for another girl is fulfilled! After my checkup, I told hubby that we can ‘close shop’ and he said “what’s wrong with 3 girls!”. LOL.

We went for my checkup earlier than scheduled since Rye Li wasn’t feeling well and we brought her in to see her doc (got news to update here but have done so at her blog) in the morning and since I’m out, I might as well take a medical leave for the day (but I had to go back to office in the afternoon as I had loads to do). Thus, after dropping the girl off at the daycare, hubby and I went to my Obgyn. Also, since I had the maid to pickup this Saturday, I might as well get this checkup done with so I’m not so tied up then.

I was wrong in my previous update that I’d probably put on 5-6kgs so far as I’ve actually put on 8kgs! This means I’ve put on 4kgs in 3 weeks. Yikes. I was 8kgs at 5 months with Rye Li and now I am the same weight with Baby 2 too at 5 and half months so I guess I’m going to put on just as much. Sob sob! So much for that 1kg I lost when I had the fever 4 weeks back. Must be those pasta and cheese I’ve been eating!

This birthday (yes it was my birthday that day) was the saddest birthday in my life and the only consolation I had was that I found the gender of Baby 2 finally and that it ended with a nice birthday dinner with hubby and the girl. Why was it sad? That I have explained at Rye Li’s blog, she was the start of it but I’m not blaming her at all.

Back to Baby 2, she is really active for this stage. I could only feel Rye Li’s movements from 20 weeks onwards and that also not very frequent. Baby 2 could be felt before 16 weeks and the last 3 weeks, her movements have gradually increased and I’m only at 22 weeks! I cannot imagine in the months to come.

Rye Li knew that she’s getting a mei-mei (Chinese: little sister) when her papa confirmed with her that evening after picking her up from the daycare. Her papa asked what she wants to name her mei-mei and she answered “Ikea” – I have no clue why. Anyway, I have some names in mind already but I haven’t made up my mind yet. I also bought a pair of baby pajamas for Baby 2 and 2 pairs for mittens and booties that night since we were at the mall and there was a sale. These are for her when she returns home from the hospital. I know she has loads of hand-me-downs from her cher-cher (Chinese: big sister) but you just can’t resist when you see girls stuff! ;)

So, will I go for number 3 at all? And really it’s not that I want a boy but hubby has been saying he wants 3 since he comes from 3 kids in his family and so do I. And he has said many times to me already “What is wrong with 3 girls?!, I don’t mind all girls!” I also don’t mind all girls really!Well, when the Dragon year comes and I’m up to it, I may just will unless accidents happened! ;)