Saturday, March 7, 2009

In pain, again!

If you’re a guy reading this, let me forewarned you first that this post is not for you. You would not want to be turned off when looking at women’s boobs after this – LOL! Yes, I’m going into details of breastfeeding again. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

I’m having blocked ducts again. Second time since I had Haye Li. At least it’s not mastitis with the fever but the pain, unfortunately is very much the same. Damn painful!

It started with a sore nipple and I didn’t think anything of it as I get this on and off. Seriously, if you ever see how Haye Li drinks from the bottle, you would definitely make a comment. And I would reply “imagine when she drinks off me!”. Yes, she treats me the same, which I am kind of used to it with the discomfort now and then. So when the soreness came, and then the blocked ducts, I thought it would just be for a day or so but it has been 5 days and I’m still in pain! Sob Sob!

The soreness came to a blister like and milk was trapped in it, which eventually led to hardened patches on my boobs. Out of desperation and I didn’t have the time to go see Dr. Koe, I took it into my own hands and had to burst the blister with a sterilized needle, many, many times. And when I’m nursing or pumping, the pain was a nightmare! How I wish we can actually numb the boob while nursing. Even when I’m not nursing, it still hurts as I got trapped milk in there.

Now, I don’t have hardened patches anymore but it still hurts when I’m nursing. And my nipple is still sore. Since this is my second time with Haye Li, I’m really questioning myself how long do I want to do this. It’s definitely the way she latches on. If it happens for the third time again, I think I may just stop breastfeeding altogether.

I am stressed this week – a mixture of my rushed juggling role as a working mom and a full time mom after work. And with hubby away for work, with the lesser supply of my expressed milk and with the blocked ducts, it made it worst, and the pain that came with it. See what a ‘mess’ I am now that I can't even type proper sentences anymore. Hah!

Another thing to add, Haye Li’s gotten into latching on me most of the time while she sleeps lately. You can say she’s using me as a pacifier but she is really drinking when the milk comes. During daytime over the weekends, she won’t let go at all while she sleeps so I’m literary stuck with her and can’t do anything else. My boss was telling me if I can’t seem to finish some of my overdue work, I can do it at home and I will give her the stare and tell her how my life is at home. I have no time at all to squeeze work in and even if I do, I don’t want to as I can’t concentrate with a crying baby every half hour or so. Even when I get the chance to blog, I’ll get interrupted by Rye Li or Haye Li now and then and I will leave my stuff hanging there and I tend to forget what I wanted to say or miss out some other relevant points. So you can imagine if I do my work at home while attending to them!

Back to breastfeeding, it’s tougher with Haye Li and it’s challenging me in the face whether I want to do this till she’s a year old. Ah….I will bite the bullet for now (again) and see if I can withstand the pain if ever I have this again…I sure hope it doesn’t come round again!