While I was pregnant with Rye Li, I used to get comments that my 2 months (not even 2 months, it’s 60 days!) maternity is like a holiday for me whereby I will get to rest and most importantly, I’m away from office and don’t have to work that 2 months. At that time, I didn’t really gave two hoots about those comments as I didn’t know what to expect being it my first time.
However, after I came back from my maternity leave then and still had those comments coming my way, I really gave that person my 2 cents worth, okay, maybe more than 2 cents! Along the way, when I still hear this kind of comments, I will voice out my disagreement.
Now that I’m pregnant the second time and still get this kind of comments, I will get so worked up and that person will also get a piece of my mind on this statement.
So, I’m repeating this….60 days maternity leave is NOT a holiday at all!!!!
And the following are the reasons why:-
1) After tremendous stress and pain of having a baby coming out of you, you’re immediately thrown into the lion’s cage. Okay, not exactly that bad (perhaps worst) but you’re faced with a crying and demanding baby that totally disrupt what you considered a normal like before baby came along.
2) You definitely don’t get enough sleep anymore – those back at the office that still have to work 9-6pm get more sleep that you do in that 60 days!
3) The one month (some will have 40 – 44 days) confinement feels like you’re serving time in a prison as you’re not allowed to get out of the house (although I cheated a few times, I still felt like a prisoner!)
4) I’m suppose to be resting and sleeping most of the time but tell me this, how can I when my breasts get engorged every 2-3 hours or so, have a crying baby that needs to be fed or diapers changed every 2-3 hours or so, have to express my milk after my baby gets direct feeding (as she doesn’t drink much and also I need to make sure the flow gets going for more milk later), have my MIL to remind me that I need to eat my breakfast/lunch/dinner when I finally get to catch up with my 40 winks, and also I still receive calls from office now and then (very minimal though). [I didn’t have a Confinement Lady with Rye Li and although my MIL was helping me, I looked after the girl at nights with some help from hubby when he wasn’t traveling].
5) Due to the lack of sleep and rest, and the after effects of childbirth, your body does not feel the same anymore. In fact, you do get the aches and pains especially in the first week. If you’re lucky, it will go away fast but if you’re unlucky, it will remain for some time. I was unfortunate to have my right leg affected by the huge amount of weight that I put on during my pregnancy with Rye Li and hence, I still suffered for nearly a month after she came out. Even my urut (malay: massage) lady was surprise by this as it was a nerve thingy and not a bone. Whenever she massaged that area, on reflex, my leg will come up and I will be in pain. I’m praying that I don’t get this again this time.
6) During the confinement month, there are a lot of taboos that you need to follow. For me, although my MIL wasn’t strict (and even if she is, knowing me, I won’t be so bothered), I still need to follow certain things accordingly. Of course, I didn’t stand long enough till 30 days to wash my hair. In fact after 8 days of not washing my hair, I had enough and told my MIL that I really have to wash my hair. She wanted me to wait till 12 days but I told her I cannot stand the dirt and itch anymore and she was nice enough to boil the herbs for me to wash my hair with.
Being it my first time, I wished that I washed my hair normally behind her back! That wash and bath was the hottest I ever had in my life! I was sweating profusely throughout the wash and also way after that. I didn’t really feel that cleaned after that although I did wash my hair. After this, I washed my hair weekly with the same routine (I cheated once normally when Rye Li was admitted to the hospital for high fever at 20 days old and I stayed with her there for 2 nights). So all in all, I washed my hair 5 times during that 30 days! But I did shower everyday – mostly without my MIL knowing but she did catch me a few times and told my hubby that I shouldn’t be touching water at all (yea right!).
7) With no intentions to disrespect my in-laws, that 1 month or so was the longest time I have ever stayed with them. Thankfully, the confinement was done in my house so at least I’m familiar with my surroundings. However, it also took me a while to adjust having them over in that 1 month. Before that, they have stayed over at my place whenever they came down from Penang but the most for over a week. I’m grateful and thankful that I had my MIL to look after me during the confinement period. However, with a new baby and a new routine, I have to admit that I did feel like a stranger in my house that month. There were times I wished that I was back home in my own family house – it was also a time where I missed my mom so badly! :) …my mom did come over now and then and I always resisted to shout out to her whether she could stay with me!
Alright, I’ll admit that I did get some relaxation of some sorts before I went back to office because I made myself to. Rye Li went to the day care at 1 and a half months so I also took the opportunity in that 10 days or so to do some errands like opening a bank account for her (she had some ang pow money for her full moon and also CNY after that). I also went for a spa as my body needed some relaxation so badly. But I can tell you, while doing my errands, it wasn’t like I had the whole day to myself. I had to work around my pumping schedule so that the girl gets enough milk as well as I didn’t suffer from the engorgement. Also, I had to do some light housework and made sure all this were done before I had to pick the girl up again from the day care and I remember that I mostly had her to myself as hubby was already traveling for work every week.
Now, with the second maternity leave coming up, one would think that it would be a breeze for me. Nope, I doubt so as I also have a toddler to deal with other than a baby and I’m not looking forward to a demanding toddler and a baby at the same time for my attention while my body is going through so many changes. Wish me luck!
60 days is definitely not enough to recuperate and whoever recommended the 60 days maternity leave here sucks big time. There were plans to have this move up to 90 days 2 years back but it never materialized. I feel even at 90 days, it is not enough but heck, anything more than 60 days is definitely welcome anytime.
So, ladies and gentlemen, if you ever come across my path, please do not mention that I got 2 months holiday soon or ever for that matter! With loads of hormones gushing through my body now, you better make the effort to make me laugh rather than to make me mad. ;)
However, after I came back from my maternity leave then and still had those comments coming my way, I really gave that person my 2 cents worth, okay, maybe more than 2 cents! Along the way, when I still hear this kind of comments, I will voice out my disagreement.
Now that I’m pregnant the second time and still get this kind of comments, I will get so worked up and that person will also get a piece of my mind on this statement.
So, I’m repeating this….60 days maternity leave is NOT a holiday at all!!!!
And the following are the reasons why:-
1) After tremendous stress and pain of having a baby coming out of you, you’re immediately thrown into the lion’s cage. Okay, not exactly that bad (perhaps worst) but you’re faced with a crying and demanding baby that totally disrupt what you considered a normal like before baby came along.
2) You definitely don’t get enough sleep anymore – those back at the office that still have to work 9-6pm get more sleep that you do in that 60 days!
3) The one month (some will have 40 – 44 days) confinement feels like you’re serving time in a prison as you’re not allowed to get out of the house (although I cheated a few times, I still felt like a prisoner!)
4) I’m suppose to be resting and sleeping most of the time but tell me this, how can I when my breasts get engorged every 2-3 hours or so, have a crying baby that needs to be fed or diapers changed every 2-3 hours or so, have to express my milk after my baby gets direct feeding (as she doesn’t drink much and also I need to make sure the flow gets going for more milk later), have my MIL to remind me that I need to eat my breakfast/lunch/dinner when I finally get to catch up with my 40 winks, and also I still receive calls from office now and then (very minimal though). [I didn’t have a Confinement Lady with Rye Li and although my MIL was helping me, I looked after the girl at nights with some help from hubby when he wasn’t traveling].
5) Due to the lack of sleep and rest, and the after effects of childbirth, your body does not feel the same anymore. In fact, you do get the aches and pains especially in the first week. If you’re lucky, it will go away fast but if you’re unlucky, it will remain for some time. I was unfortunate to have my right leg affected by the huge amount of weight that I put on during my pregnancy with Rye Li and hence, I still suffered for nearly a month after she came out. Even my urut (malay: massage) lady was surprise by this as it was a nerve thingy and not a bone. Whenever she massaged that area, on reflex, my leg will come up and I will be in pain. I’m praying that I don’t get this again this time.
6) During the confinement month, there are a lot of taboos that you need to follow. For me, although my MIL wasn’t strict (and even if she is, knowing me, I won’t be so bothered), I still need to follow certain things accordingly. Of course, I didn’t stand long enough till 30 days to wash my hair. In fact after 8 days of not washing my hair, I had enough and told my MIL that I really have to wash my hair. She wanted me to wait till 12 days but I told her I cannot stand the dirt and itch anymore and she was nice enough to boil the herbs for me to wash my hair with.
Being it my first time, I wished that I washed my hair normally behind her back! That wash and bath was the hottest I ever had in my life! I was sweating profusely throughout the wash and also way after that. I didn’t really feel that cleaned after that although I did wash my hair. After this, I washed my hair weekly with the same routine (I cheated once normally when Rye Li was admitted to the hospital for high fever at 20 days old and I stayed with her there for 2 nights). So all in all, I washed my hair 5 times during that 30 days! But I did shower everyday – mostly without my MIL knowing but she did catch me a few times and told my hubby that I shouldn’t be touching water at all (yea right!).
7) With no intentions to disrespect my in-laws, that 1 month or so was the longest time I have ever stayed with them. Thankfully, the confinement was done in my house so at least I’m familiar with my surroundings. However, it also took me a while to adjust having them over in that 1 month. Before that, they have stayed over at my place whenever they came down from Penang but the most for over a week. I’m grateful and thankful that I had my MIL to look after me during the confinement period. However, with a new baby and a new routine, I have to admit that I did feel like a stranger in my house that month. There were times I wished that I was back home in my own family house – it was also a time where I missed my mom so badly! :) …my mom did come over now and then and I always resisted to shout out to her whether she could stay with me!
Alright, I’ll admit that I did get some relaxation of some sorts before I went back to office because I made myself to. Rye Li went to the day care at 1 and a half months so I also took the opportunity in that 10 days or so to do some errands like opening a bank account for her (she had some ang pow money for her full moon and also CNY after that). I also went for a spa as my body needed some relaxation so badly. But I can tell you, while doing my errands, it wasn’t like I had the whole day to myself. I had to work around my pumping schedule so that the girl gets enough milk as well as I didn’t suffer from the engorgement. Also, I had to do some light housework and made sure all this were done before I had to pick the girl up again from the day care and I remember that I mostly had her to myself as hubby was already traveling for work every week.
Now, with the second maternity leave coming up, one would think that it would be a breeze for me. Nope, I doubt so as I also have a toddler to deal with other than a baby and I’m not looking forward to a demanding toddler and a baby at the same time for my attention while my body is going through so many changes. Wish me luck!
60 days is definitely not enough to recuperate and whoever recommended the 60 days maternity leave here sucks big time. There were plans to have this move up to 90 days 2 years back but it never materialized. I feel even at 90 days, it is not enough but heck, anything more than 60 days is definitely welcome anytime.
So, ladies and gentlemen, if you ever come across my path, please do not mention that I got 2 months holiday soon or ever for that matter! With loads of hormones gushing through my body now, you better make the effort to make me laugh rather than to make me mad. ;)
2 comments:
you should laugh out loud when ppl tell you it's a holiday. tell them, "oh yea..it will be a fun holiday cleaning poop and baring out the breasts all day long."
I hear you loud and clear and also agree with you that irritating comments like that should be responded accordingly.
Hey...I remember those days of how we dreaded pumping! Gosh, didn't we set like 3 months, then another month and another month kind of targets hahaha
Sigh, you'll have another buddy to do it with this time. I missed the bus...
Oh yeah, I forgot I wanted to ask you what you'd like to add to your nursery? Wanna get ya (or the baby) a pressie! Let me know ok?
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